How to Win Every Game of Settlers of Catan

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I have returned!  As I write I am dragging myself out of the pit of despair born from weeks of pathetic crying and self-righteous wailing.  I emerge holding aloft a warm light for all mankind, an unnecessarily arrogant and wordy guide to crushing your loved ones at a dumb board game.  The name of that game, that most glorious and infuriating game, is CATAN.

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Camden Review

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‘Ello ‘ello ‘ello! Whatcha buyin’, whatcha buyin’? We got th’ finest stuff in all o’ London! We got shirts, we got sausages, we got… Decorative vases! Why not! We got th’ finest CDs in all of– Oh, ‘ello Officer! Of ‘course I got the right paperwork, lemme go grab me Cousin Mickey real quick! What? O’Course I’m not packin’ up to get outta town as fast as possible, whatcha thinkin’ copper?!… I apologize profusely for my attempt at an Cockney accent. Lets never talk about that again. This is Camden.

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