You’ve bravely made your way through the dungeon. You’ve taken quite a beating, went from a human to an elf to a dwarf to… You think a halfling, you’re not positive at this point. Possibly a Vampire? You’re not sure. But now you’re carrying a mace in one hand, a coffin in another, you’re wearing skin-tight pants, and you’re ready to take on the final monster that blocks you from the exit and your countless booty. But then you see it. And you see the absolute horror that is… The Gazebo. This is Munchkin.
So. Role Playing Games. I’d put their public image somewhere between foot fungus and that guy on airplanes who feels like he’s earned your leg-space. They’re known as the domain of the dork, the netherworld of the nerd, the national pass-time of the neckbearded and the maladjusted. And when I suggest people try them, their first reaction is a resounding “No!” Now, I’ve been an avid gamer of the non-video game variety for a little over six years now, and I’d like to… Dismantle a few stereotypes about the games of the role-playing variety.
On Saturday, May 31st, half of Skip-A-Turn walked the stage and received a diploma. This was after May 29th, when he had his last class ever, and before June 3rd, when this review will go live! As things wind down and things get exciting and new for Skip-A-Turn, we decided to go from a huge, exciting, bombastic game to something more small and intimate and playable with a cup of tea: Timeline!
You know what makes Board Games amazing? Just how unafraid of experimentation they are. Unlike video games that have become multi-million dollar products where people NEED certain elements in order for your game to be released, board games are just strange ideas in cardboard boxes that are proud and unashamed of themselves. Some games are braver than others, though, and we’re proud to present a board game that we can safely say is completely fearless. Welcome to Drag Ball, hunty!
Ah! No! That doesn’t go there! Why the hell would you think we needed MORE egrets in the gymnasium, hm?! HM!? Well, I’ll have you know that we do NOT have time for this and– Oh, hello! Hello! You caught us in a bit of a mess. You see, Skip-A-Turn is ran by two Graduate students, and we’re in a bit of a pickle. I’m trying to get my degree done with out going insane, Buckle is in the middle of production of a new short film, and we have an extra special review for you planned! Sadly, big plans mean big chaos and– NO, NO MORE PUGS, YOU TAKE THAT THING BACK WHERE YOU FOUND IT, MISTER! A-hem, yes, well… This is Fluxx. A game that may not actually be reviewable.
RAAAWWRRR! SKRONK! SMASH! DESTROY! You don’t know true horror until your house is falling apart, cars are being thrown like child playthings, and the world you once knew is being destroyed by horrific monsters from beyond the stars! Or maybe they’re from beneath the waves. Nuclear explosions? Lab testing? Eh, whatever, giant monsters and destruction! Run for you life! This is Rampage!
So we had a comment saying our “Top Five Board Games for Your Mom” list was tame. After all, some of us don’t have great relationships with our parents, so why not take advantage of this upcoming Mother’s Day to release some of that pent-up parental rage? Grab your Prozac and Xanax kids, ’cause we’re getting deep and dark with C. E. Weidman’s “Lunch Money.”
Mother’s day is coming up on May 11th, 2014! Here at Skip-A-Turn we realize that buying gifts your your mother can be hard: You probably don’t know her shoe size, or her favorite color, or her dress size, and you’re probably too old to get away with a hand-made card. Unless you’re good at that, in which case, can we get your contact information? Any way, in honor of the holiday that celebrates the Moms of Planet Earth, and since we are board game related blog, instead of a normal review we’re going to do something a little more festive. Here’s the Top Five Board Games for your Mom!
All characters appearing in this game are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. In the event that you begin to think this article is about Star Trek, place your head between your knees and whisper quietly to yourself again and again:
I must not quote Shatner. I must not quote Shatner. I must not quote Shatner.
On April 26th, 2014, history was made: The ET Atari game cartridges were found! For the uninitiated: ET for the Atari is considered one of the worst video games of all time, and is sometimes held responsible for the Great Game Crash of ’83! So, why am I even talking about this? Skip-A-Turn is board games, not video games, Steven you silly goose! Because this historic moment had me dig through the bowels of my game collection this week and pull out a game that I would totally bury in New Mexico. Yes, I: I’m not speaking for all of Skip-A-Turn. This time? It’s personal. This is Kill Doctor Lucky.